Contemplations
by Pam Marks
Summary: Once upon a time.....
1. Default Chapter

**Disclaimer:** The power rangers and everything that has to do with them are not mine. I am not making any money off this story in less you want to donate to the Pam Marks is so broke and down on her luck fund. If you do I will be collecting donations between my normal business hours of 3 pm and 4am. Please write all checks in order to Pam Marks and yes we do accept credit cards. Thank you. 

**Authors Note:** It's the story of a Ranger after the glitz and glory of being a ranger have faded. 

**Special Thanx:** A special thanks goes out to my co-author- "Me!" Rene jumps into the room and shoves Pam aside. "Me! I'm the evil one! Praise me!" Pam hits her with a stick and rolls her eyes. 

**Contemplations**

He did it; he actually did it. I never really thought he could go so far, but here he has. Lying in bed, I try to get a grasp on what's happened in the last four hours. Nope not happening. I don't even know why I'm doing this to myself. All I really want is to lay here and trip out on this pain medicine the doctor gave me, but no, I have to go and try and understand why he did it. Why of all people the man I love, and who loves me, could do something so vicious and cruel. 

Rolling onto my side, I wince as my bruised ribs and sprained wrist come in contact with the water filled 'mattress' of our bed. I used to love this bed, love laying in it, love laying with HIM in it. Not so much now. Now it just seems another thing he's used to 'buy me off' so to speak. That's all half the stuff in our house is, abuse presents...if that's what you still call it these days. 

"Stupid report." The mutter is clearly heard from the other room. He's working. He said he needed to finish some work for tomorrow and since I unfortunately wasted half his day at the hospital he'd have to work through half the night to finish. I wasted, like I'm the one who shoved myself down the stairs. I'm the one who gave myself the bruised ribs and sprained wrist. Well I did argue with him...Shut up, just shut up. 

As I listen to him continue to mutter and strike the keys of his laptop, I feel a dull spark of anger rise. This isn't my fault; I didn't do anything to deserve this. So what if I did argue? I had a right to, here I'd gone off and saved the world well after my time as a Ranger was supposed to be over and he just.... oh what's the use. 

Turning a little more, ignoring the increase of pressure and pain on my ribs, I gaze out the window of our room. The beach, how nice is that, we live right on the beach. On the beach in a fabulous condo...come to think of it, maybe that should have been my first clue something was wrong. Way back when, way back before this abuse even started. There where signs I guess. Signs I ignored at the time. Some fucking Ranger I am. I can save the world from monsters, machines, and even giant metal lizards, but I can't even raise a hand to defend myself against the man I've been married to for five years now. 

Whatever, I think I'll just lay here for a bit longer. Lay here and stare out the window and try to remember when things weren't this bad. When this whole mess of love and abuse wasn't all tied in together and we were both happy. Funny...as the days go on I find it harder and harder to remember that time. 

To be continued.......... 


	2. Once Upon A Time

**Disclaimer;** The power rangers and everything that has to do with them are not mine. I just like screwing with them is all. 

**Authors Note:** This story has angst in it of course gee Tommy is my favorite character and I love picking on him. Go figure! This is after Tommy has stopped being a Ranger. ****

Special Thanx: Special thanks goes out to my co-author- "Me!" Rene jumps into the room and shoves Pam aside. "Me! I'm the evil one! Praise me!" Pam hits her with a stick and rolls her eyes. 

**Once Upon a Time**

Tommy

(Tommy; age 18) 

I never really liked fairy tales you know. I mean all that jazz about white knights on horses and frogs turning into princes, or some beautiful slave girl marrying a prince. Naw, not really my thing. Especially after I became a Ranger. If you ever want anything to get you off fairy tales and horror stories, try making your life into one. 

"You know if you keep sitten out here staring off into space, you're never going to pass your chemistry exam tomorrow." The amused voice startles me. I'm not starring off into space; I'm enjoying the moment and contemplating my life. I should be taking philosophy this term. 

Turning around, I offer my new friend a lazy smile. "You keep worrying about me so much, I'm gonna start calling you dad, Mickey." Standing beside me on the beach, which is basically his backyard, he grins down at me. He's handsome. The jet black hair, sparkling blue green eyes, too charming smile; yeah, he's definitely the type you'd expect to be living in a condo on the beach. Not that I'm complaining any, I mean I'd sure as hell rather be sitting out here tonight than in my crappy dorm room on campus. 

I really do hate that dorm, and my roommate; who thinks the answer to life can be found between the hours of two a.m. and one p.m. I swear if I have to put up with that guy much longer I'm going to lose it and throw him out the window. Then, of course, who would I blame my not-so-great grades on? Yeah, I guess I'm not doing so hot in LA. I mean I don't even really know why I came here, I guess after graduating and all of the Rangers going their ways I felt too abandoned in Angel Grove. I don't know, I guess I thought LA would suit me better. Talk about a mistake. The only good thing that's happened since I've been here was meeting Mickey, and I should really be grateful for that one; seeing as how he's five years older than me and an commercial financial advisor...whatever that is... 

~*~*~*~*~*~ 

(2 months ago) 

_Stupid roommate, stupid classes, I'm going home. I must have been out of my mind to think moving here was a good idea. Even with my parents paying for school and helping me on my car payments, I'm flat broke. I have no job skills, well aside from saving the world and that doesn't seem to fly well on employment applications . There are no job openings at any of the marshal arts studios around but even if there were I couldn't teach them because I am taking five classes. Hell I barely have time to sit down! I'm tired. I'm pulling Cs in four of five classes. And I have no friends! Okay so, I've always kind of been the loner type but at least I had a few pals, not here though. Apparently I'm not the shit here. I mean, in Angel Groove I was this tough guy with a good look, and five close friends who were more like family and here. Here I'm such a dork! _

Scowling, I cram my Calc book into my backpack and stalk down the street. That's it; I'm finishing this semester and then transferring to the community college in Angel Groove. I just can't handle thi- "Oph!" I suddenly run smack into someone and very gracefully land flat on my butt at the guy's feet. Fabulous; as if this day could get any worse. 

"You alright?" The amused voice makes me relax a little. Well at least he's not pissed. Pushing my hair outta my face, I gaze up to see I've run into what I'd guess is a male model. Clad in black slacks, a tight red shirt, and a long black fitted leather jacket, he truly does look dressed for the part. Still smirking, he offers me a hand, which I take after a second's hesitation. After pulling me up, he picks up my book and hands it back to me. 

"Thanks. Uh, sorry, I just..." felt miserable and I wasn't watching where I was going. Taking the book, I quickly put it back into my bag and look at anything but him. 

"S'okay. S'been a while since pretty boys have thrown themselves at my feet, it's nice to see I still got it." Pretty? As lame as that is and in spite of my mood and embarrassment, I feel my face heat up. I now feel like a real dork, I quickly shake my head clear and move to leave. "Well I'm really sorry again, uh, bye." Yep, I'm going to go die of embarrassment now. 

"Wait." Catching my arm as I pass, he gives me an amazing smile. "Here you go, runnin' right into me and I don't even know your name." My name? Why would you want it? 

Still though, he's the first nice person I've met in this god-awful city so... "Tommy." Can I go now? I want to get home and brood for a while. 

"Tommy, cute." Really? "Well Tommy, I wonder if maybe you'd like to go grab a bite to eat with me." What? Okay now I'm missing something here. Suddenly, though I get it. Looking up I see he's giving me a good look over, he's checking me out. Great, he thinks I'm into guys like that. But then I guess I didn't lead him to believe otherwise when he called me pretty and I acted like a stupid schoolgirl. Well hell, I've got to put a stop to this. 

"Um, thanks but...well it's really nice of you to...I'm not..." Very nice, wanna try to babble out something a tad more coherent this time? It doesn't seem necessary as I see the slight flicker of disappointment enter his eyes. I'm sorry, dude if I was gay or something I would totally go out with you, but I'm not. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you think otherwise, I just...Sorry." I turn to go again and kick myself for leading him to think that to begin with, I'm outta here. 

"Wait." Catching my arm again, his smile's back in place, but this time not so...flirty? Charming? Nevertheless it is still pleasant and friendly, almost like Jason's. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have jumped to assumptions and if I offended you I didn't mean to." When I smile and shake my head he goes on. "Listen, I was heading to lunch anyway, and if you still wanna join me I'd dig the company. My pal canceled on me see, and I truly do hate eating alone." Honest? 

Okay so he knows I'm not that way and yet he still wants to hang out, what the hell, like I've got something better to do. As long as he gets that I'm not into him like that, I don't see a problem. Smiling for like the first time since I moved here, I nod. "Sure, I'd like that." As we head to café down the street I suddenly have to ask. "So are you a model or something?" Hey, he just hit on me. I doubt he'll take offense to me suggesting he's good looking enough to be a model. 

Laughing a little he loops an arm around my shoulders, much the same way Jason did before he left. "I thought you said you weren't interested in that, you little flirt." When I laugh a bit too he shakes his head. "No, I'm not a model, though that was sweet of you. Financial adviser." 

"Oh, what's that?" Sounds boring whatever it is. He should be a model, probably make better money. 

"A very long, tedious job that I happen to be very good at and thus why I can afford my condo on the beach." Hell, maybe I should have accepted a date from him. 

~*~*~*~*~*~ 

Sitting down on the white sand next to me, he grins. "You call me dad and I'll pound you into the ground, kid." Suddenly looking over at the pile of seashells by my bare feet he shakes his head, still grinning. "You keep doing that you're gonna have this whole beach picked clean by the end of the year." I like collecting shells, it's relaxing. Besides, he has like a whole box of the best ones I've collected in his house. Said maybe I could do some artsy calash thing with them sometime. 

"I might not be here by the end of the year." And there it is. I'm still thinking about going home There's just too many things here that don't work for me. Honestly, the only reason I even stayed for the second semester was Mickey. He's the only real friend I have here and probably the only thing that's kept me grounded enough to make it through this semester. 

"Oh?" Picking up a handful of sand he lets it shift through his fingers. "Still not diggin' LA, huh?" When I shake my head and return my gaze back to the setting sun, he sighs. "Well can't say I won't miss you. It's definitely been fun having you around...Fuck I feel like you're breaken up with me and we never even went out." Smiling over at me, I can see a small trace of pain in his eyes. Yeah...it does feel almost like we're breaken up...weird. 

"I don't know what I'm gonna do. I just...I don't feel right in this city. I thought LA would be my kind of place, but it just didn't work out that way. The only place I even feel remotely good at is here." And it's true. I like being here at his place. Not only because of the beach either. I like being around him. He's easy going, comfortable and he really kind of reminds me of Jase. "Then stay here." What? Smiling a bit, he gestures back toward the house. "Stay here. I got the room and it seems a shame for you to switch from a university to a community college; one that probably has shit for you to do when you're majoring in art. Chill here, I don't mind, I told ya I like having you around, you've met my other friends. They're a bit...well... they aren't you. I think I could probably stand having you for a roommate." Really? Okay, wait, no, wait what am I doing? I can't stay here. 

And why not, you're already here every spare second you have. You spend the night in the spare room; you eat his food, even have a key, and a free invitation to come by whenever you feel like it. What's the difference between that and actually living here? Aside from bringing your crap over and shoving it in the spare room? "Really?" 

Nodding, he stands and brushes himself off. "If you want to." Do I want to live with a roommate who'd actually give me a chance to study and sleep at normal times, have a beach for a backyard, and food in the fridge? DUH! 

To be continued...... 


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